New promo pic!

Check out the new pic! I included flames because...well if you read ENVIOUS, you'll know why.

I also want to thank all my readers, and especially thank my friends and family who have been crazy supportive, getting out there and telling everyone they can about the book. Jenn and Ben, you two rock!

My Dirty Little Secret

            We all have secrets. The good, the bad, and the dirty. That’s how mine felt. Dirty. Wrong. But oh, so good.

              I had a need that I could not reconcile. It was as if something inside of me was shoving at my skin, struggling to break free. This force seemed to come out of nowhere, beginning randomly one day with a single thought that spiraled into a tornado. It was wild force of nature, unyielding to my will. I was instantly caught up in its power, spinning wildly with thrill, but to the outside world, the weather was calm. There was no storm raging that anyone else could see, because I kept it secret. Hidden. And it became my dark pleasure.

I would wait all day for those dark hours at night, when all the world was asleep, and no one would catch me. I would turn on the computer, careful that no one was looking over my shoulder, and I would write.

Writing may not seem like a major transgression to most, but it was near shameful for me. I wasn’t a writer. I was an artist. My circle of family and friends held writers, but I was not one of them. My medium was paint, pencil and ink. I was a storyteller, but only in the form of loose scripts to be fitted to artwork. Yet, I found myself waiting for brief moments to myself, a few hours weekly when I could slide into the seat before the family computer and indulge in my secret craving.

I didn’t understand the need, but I felt it slowly take hold of me, and my life. It was my passion, my release, and I needed it to get by. Quickly, waiting for free time left me impatient. I’d pace the floor, waiting for everyone to turn their backs. I’d watch over my shoulder, making sure that no one realized what I was truly doing on the computer. “Writing a paper for class,” I planned to say if I was ever caught. And I wasn’t.

My habit continued on for years in secret. It was my shame. How many times I’d told myself that I was no writer. I had no skill for it. I wasn’t good enough, I told myself. But something defiant stirred within me. I couldn’t stop myself from putting my fingers to the keys and pouring my heart and soul into something I was sure that I would never share with anyone. It was garbage, trash…but oh, how I loved it.

Finally my secret reached the point when I decided the time had come to confess. It wasn’t an easy decision, but the weight of keeping my secret had become a burden I wasn’t willing to maintain. Secrets had started to slip.

I remember the reactions I’d gotten when I finally came clean and told those closest to me what I’d been doing, the shock and confusion on their faces. I’d hidden my habit well. Too well. No one saw it coming.

But despite my “coming out,” I still had further to go, because I’d decided, I didn’t want it to be a secret anymore. I didn’t want a guilty pleasure.

I’d taken a step back, looked at my life, my passion and my creation, and I saw something good. And if the world disagreed, I no longer cared. Everyone was entitled to their opinion, including me. My opinion of my work was just as important as everyone else’s and I wouldn’t put myself to shame any longer.

The hardest thing I’d ever done was let that first manuscript out of my grip and place it into the hands of another. I waited, my mind readying excuses and lame apologies for my lack of skill, against my will. Some habits are hard to break. But once the waiting was over, I had my first fan.

Too often in life, we measure our worth by what others might think of us. We make excuses for loving things that we expect others to be incapable of accepting. We have an innate need to determine what others are thinking of us, but very often we are wrong. Sometimes the world’s reactions to our dirty secrets are so surprising that we wonder why we had ever held back in the first place.

What we become is of our own making. Don’t base yourself off of how others see you. And don’t tether your dreams for fear of not measuring up. Never lose sight of what you hold dear. Whether it is a love to write, paint, build, teach, or create, do not let the opinions of others hold you back, because the world of opinion is vast, and while some may disapprove and aim to put you down, others might not. In the end, all that matters is how you feel about yourself and your creation. Your opinion is just as valid as everyone else’s.

Glimpse into ENVIOUS

Spoiler alert! If you have already started reading, or are planning to read Envious...this might give something away. If you are okay with that, or want to know more, read on!
A sample from ENVIOUS:
BUY HERE

I gasped for air. The roaring wind seemed to whip the breath from my lips. I took in some air…not enough. My vision was pierced by flashes of blinding light. I blinked wildly with rain pounding down on my face, entering my mouth, my nose, my eyes. I was sprawled in the mud in the dark. I tried to get up, tried to run. I couldn’t. I slipped again, my face slapping against the muddy ground. I felt a hand close on my ankle. Screaming, I tried to pull away, but it yanked me back, dragging me through the muck. I tasted the grit of wet dirt in my mouth. I spit and tried to breathe. Yes. I caught a break in the wind and filled my lungs with air. I wriggled through the mud and freed my leg from his grasp. Scrambling in panic, I whimpered like a sobbing child. I slipped and slid as I crawled across the wet earth. I found a patch of grass and pulled my weight to it. I heard him slip behind me, and saw the splash of mud and water fly through the storm. His knife glinted as it flew from his grip and disappeared into the darkness that surrounded us. I held the slimy grass in my fist and heaved, sliding forward.

A crack of lightning lit up the sky, sending flashes of light down on the earth. I pulled. The tuft I held gave way and ripped below my grip. My heart and hopes sank as I dug my fingers into the dirt and heaved again. I felt him reach for my ankle again, and I screamed. His hand gained a firm grip on my leg, through my under dress. He pulled at me, scrambled, slid, and cursed. My body slipped back towards him. The more he pulled at me, the more I slid and the more I screeched in a scared panic. I could feel my dress coming up above my knees as I slipped down toward him.

He pulled again, and my face hit the dirt. Precious dry dirt. My body had scraped so far down. Thick sheets of rain quickly washed the dirt to mud, but I found a good holding to hoist myself up. It was too late. His hand pressed on my back. His weight fell down upon my spine. My swollen stomach pressed into the earth. Breath escaped me. My lungs were choked. I had no room, no room at all.

I felt his slimy wet hands on my shoulders and his sharp breath in my ear. I heard him say, “I have you now.” He lifted himself off my body and dragged me up after him, pulling me to my feet and gripping me tightly around my waist. I scrambled to pull his fingers off me. His flesh tore under my nails, but his fingers refused to move. He dragged me through the corral, moving easily through the mud now, pulling me with him. The rain beat down on us and thunder erupted through the night.

He found his weapon, a sword tangled in a mound of soaked hay. He picked it up, despite my attempts to stop him. I grabbed hold of his sword hand, fighting him, trying to make him drop it again.

I spit dirt from my mouth and screamed through the rain, “Why?!! Why are you doing this?” I broke into sobs. “Stop it!! Stop it! No!!!” I screeched as I fought him.

He ripped his hand out of my grasp and I wiggled around in his hold to face him. Mud streaked down his face, rain poured over his features and through his hair. His light hair was now wet and caked to his forehead, face, and neck. His eyes were hard…cold, almost glowing in the darkness, those blue eyes I loved so dearly… Eric.

Click here to purchase the novel!

ENVIOUS BOOK on facebook!

ENVIOUS now has a Facebook page.The page will soon be a great link to cool things like giveaways, news and signings.
Check it out! Like it! Share it!
Hmm, that's not too demanding, is it?
https://www.facebook.com/enviousbook 

Envious Reviewed by The Kindle Book Review

Great news! Envious has had its first review!

MaryAnn Breedlove of The Kindle Book Review recently posted her review of Envious. She gave four stars and a beautiful review. Here are a few quotes from her:

"The story will twist and turn you like vines around a tree...you're not sure which tendril will take you next."

"I slid over the edge of the cliff, feet dangling holding on for dear life; I am saved by a soon to be released sequel."

Thank you, MaryAnn, for the wonderful review!
To read the full review, visit the Envious page on amazon.com or goodreads.com.
View or purchase here!

Envious Released!

Great news! Envious is now available for purchase! Get the exciting novel in print and e-book on amazon.com!
http://www.amazon.com/

"Envious" cover reveal!

The cover is here! Soon, very soon, Envious will be ready for purchase!